This blog has been a long time coming. Over 20 years ago I had a tragic event happen to me and my family and someone said I should write a blog about it. I couldn't imagine what good would come from writing about such a topic, so I laughed it off and continued on with my life. As time went by, more heartbreaking things happened, as it does to many, and more people told me the same thing, write about it. I had the same response as before - no. It's not that I didn't know how to write, I just didn't know how to write about that. It never occurred to me that I could write about other things that could help people in profound ways.

In 2018, I believed and prayed for the healing of a very sick family member. I knew healing was part of God's promise to us, so I was sure the answer would be yes. But God said no and I was crushed as we laid them to rest. I wanted to know why all my years of serving God, both in my church and in my life, seemed to mean nothing. This one thing I believed for was withheld from me, and I was confused as to why. Noone had answers for me. Knowing that God was the only way I had endured my past, I knew it would not help me to turn my back on Him going into my future. So I spent a year helping anyone I could, serving in my church, and trying to heal the painful wounds all while continually asking God why.

God truly is love. He loved me through all my pain, anger, and confusion. He never scolded me, made me feel bad for my questions or turned His back on me. He just loved me through it all. And when I was finally at a place where I gave up on trying to understand, I started to hear Him. He showed me some things in the bible I had not seen or understood before. He showed me that, in reality, when I had prayed for healing He answered that prayer, just not on this side of Heaven. I saw that I had been a Christian more out of duty to God rather than because I loved Him. This was why all of my good works over the years had seemingly gotten me nowhere. The bible says I can't earn anything from God because nothing I do is enough for the price He paid for me. That was very eye-opening and I started to ask God what else I had missed because I was so busy doing, that I neglected listening.

I decided to start over, but this time I asked God to give me His wisdom and understanding in reading the bible. It was clear that I had never fully surrendered everything to God, that I had done just enough to make me believe I was a Christian. The more I read, the more I saw that He had not been the center of my life. I knew OF God, but I did not KNOW God. There's a big difference. I sincerely thought I was walking with God, but according to what the bible says, I was more of a casual observer. Change has been imperative, and living God's truth is a big part of that process. It's in this process that we learn and grow, that we start to see what God has really put in us and where He wants us to be useful for the Kingdom. I am learning how to love process, even if it is a little scary and unsure at times. I know He is with me, so why should I be afraid? Being in the middle of this with God is better than being in the middle of it without Him.

As God has started remolding me and reshaping me, I thought about others who were stuck like I was. Even though I am not an expert, I hope and pray my experiences and spiritual life lessons help others learn important truths about themselves and the Kingdom of God. I may not know your story, but what I do know is that there is more He wants you to know through relationship with Him, prayer and His Word. Whether you are going through something right now or you've been through a lot, you can let Him heal you so you can help heal others. It really is true that each one can reach one. If we all use what He has put in us, we will be a Kingdom force to be reckoned with, and nothing can stop that kind of unity.

Gods blessings to you all and thank you for stopping by.